VICTORY -- DECEMBER 18, 2009

It is hard to believe that 365 days have passed. My photo expresses what I feel inside -- VICTORY & MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It is almost impossible to describe the year. I has been filled with many new physical feelings and ones that you cannot describe unless you are in my shoes. I feel restrained by the rods in my back and will always feel this way. There are parts of me that will never be able to move like they used to. I will always set off the airport security system :) I will always have trouble doing my toenails and tying my shoes. These things are so small compared to the "life" I have been given in return for this year. I did not realize how much my lungs had collapsed and were collapsing. I found myself tired earlier and earlier in the evening and attributed it to my age. Immediately after surgery I noticed what deep breaths I could take. I now have much more energy and endurance. Before the surgery I had no idea how much damage there was.

I am very grateful in many ways.
*I am grateful for the Lord's gentle and subtle direction in leading me in the surgical path
*I am grateful for my surgeon, Dr. Horton, and his team. Who would have imagine that 12 months after surgery he would no longer be practicing his art, having to take early retirement due to arthritis in his hands.
*I am grateful for how loved I am by the Lord. He has cared for me these 12 months so gently and tenderly.
*I am grateful to have fallen hard one evening in August on concrete. I realized that my back is about as strong as the concrete is and it sustained a fall down 3 concrete steps.
*I am grateful to my family for constantly being positive and encouraging. They have listened so much to my descriptions and revelations of what I was feeling. They never gave any indication that they wanted to say -- "Can we talk about something else!!"
*I have the most incredible group of friends. I treasure the constant joy they vicariously shared with me month after month in addition to the many ways they served and ministered to me.
*I love my gym buddies. I have been gone so long but each time I'd show up they were so excited. I felt truly like a celebrity of the DeKalb Wellness Center!
*Prayers -- this should not be at the bottom of the list but should be the umbrella over all the rest of these words of gratitude. People say you can "feel" when others are praying for you. It's true! What does it feel like? To me it was peace and a sense of being held tight and securely by my God. I spent many hours alone in my bed but never felt alone or lonely.
*DOUG -- we have learned so much about one another. He showed me his love in so many unselfish ways. He is my love slave, daily helping me do things that I couldn't manage. Never did he look weary when I'd say.... "oh, one more thing". He is such a hero to me!

Am I back to normal? No and I never will be again. I am a NEW normal. There will be things I won't do any more. That's OK. I now have a new lease on life. 2010 will be a rebuilding year to gain back stamina and physical strength. I'm very excited.

Thank you all (you know you you are) for keeping up with me in this blog, for speaking such uplifting and encouraging words every time you saw me. I have learned a lot in regard to treating others who are going through their own rocky road. God doesn't waste any situation and turns them into learning experiences to use in other's lives.

Am I glad I had the surgery. ABSOLUTELY. Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY.