the wisdom of good friends

Just writing one last post for the evening. I'll try to write again tomorrow afternoon from the hospital.

Today was a difficult day. But we expected a difficult day, and we expect the same tomorrow. Mom's doctor told her to expect to feel positively horrible for about the first three days after surgery.

So we're right on schedule.

Although it's hard to see Mom in pain, I have to admit that I am enjoying my role in her caregiving. After years of being nurtured and looked after by Mom, I am getting to mother her a little. I have kissed Mom's face many dozens of times over the past two days. Watching what she is going through just melts my heart and makes me want to cheer her on in any way I can.

Here's a wonderful blessing that "fell into place" marvelously tonight. A few weeks ago I was putting together a short list of women to sleep overnight at the hospital beside Mom's bed. One of Mom's dear friends, Sandra, volunteered to stay over on Friday night. It just so happens that Sandra is a skilled nurse and has special experience dealing with orthopedic patients.

When Sandra arrived tonight to take over Cheryl-care, I saw Mom visibly relax. In her quietly nurturing way, Sandra offered a number of small gestures of care to Mom that none of us had the presence of mind to offer her.

These gestures were not terribly academic or technical. Sandra was there to be a friend to Mom, not her professional nurse. But those little touches brought real comfort. Cool compresses to soothe Mom's feverish forehead. Ice chips to calm her irritated throat. Mom said several times, "Oh, Sandra. I'm so glad you're here."

When we put together the schedule, I had no idea how wonderful it would be to have someone like Sandra keeping watch for the first night at the hospital. It just happened that way. Dad also felt relieved to have Sandra staying with Mom tonight. I know Mom is going to sleep well tonight with Sandra by her side. The one person who probably will not sleep well in this equation is, of course, Sandra...

By the way, the photo above was taken in a small chapel in the hospital where Mom is recuperating. There's an altar near the front of the chapel with a blank book in which patients and family members may write their prayers. I found some of the prayers in the book to be very touching.

More tomorrow.

Hospital recovery, day 1, and a freeze on visitors

12/19/08, 1:45 pm EST

Mom's new spine is one day old.

We're here with her in the hospital room. She is still in ICU, though her vital signs are very strong. We're just waiting for a regular recovery room to open up for her.

As expected, Mom is experiencing a lot of pain as she learns how to move her body with all its new hardware. Something as simple as shifting her weight in bed requires a lot of effort. Though her pain medication is helping her manage, of course it's also hampering her ability to communicate clearly (finding the right words is sometimes difficult).

Mom's gentle spirit continues to shine through. She is very much the woman that we love, even in this vulnerable state. Last night after Mom emerged from surgery in one of the initial recovery rooms, one of her nurses asked me with a smile, "She seems really wonderful. Is that just the drugs, or is she always this sweet?" I let her know that the drugs had nothing to do with it. Mom somehow managed to be gentle and kind even after a day of incredibly taxing surgery.

I am deeply grateful for the ongoing expressions of love for Mom. At the same time, I'd like to ask for no unscheduled visitors until further notice. I'd also like to ask for no phone calls to Dad until further notice. Mom is very vulnerable right now, and needs to devote 100% of her energy to her healing. In turn, Dad is devoting 100% of his energy to caring for her. What they both need right now is great measures of unbroken peace and quiet.

If you would like to show your support to Mom, here are some options for you:

(1) Write her a note and mail it to CBC. We will be gathering these periodically and sharing them with Mom at the hospital and later at home. She really cherishes handwritten notes of all sorts, and I can guarantee she will enjoy reading and re-reading them during the long road ahead.
Here's the address for your notes:
Cornerstone Bible Church
Attn. Cheryl McIntosh
869 Cole Dr SW
Lilburn, GA 30047

(2) Send an email to me. I am keeping my laptop close by here in the hospital. I'll read your note to her at the hospital.

(3) Leave a comment here on the blog. I am also sharing these with her as she heals. They are a source of ongoing encouragement to her. She absolutely loves hearing from her circle of encouragers.

(4) Pray. This may be the best option of all. Specifically, please pray for the following:
- That Mom's pain would be manageable
- That she would be able to rest deeply and simply relax into her current state
- For continued healing and strength
- For Mom's courage as she makes tiny steps forward

We will be faithful in updating this blog as frequently as we can. Check here as often as you like for regular updates on our very patient patient.

Clean living pays

This will be my last post for the evening! I just wanted to write and say that we got to see Mom tonight after surgery, and it was a joy. Here's the story from tonight. It contains several answers to all of the prayers being offered up today on Mom's behalf.

After Mom was sewed up at the conclusion of her surgery, we were instructed to wait in a new waiting area in the ICU. There we waited. And waited some more. Two hours passed. We fidgeted, checked our watches, sighed theatrically. I even attempted unsuccessfully to extract a bag of pretzels from the hospital vending machine.

Finally we were greeted by a nurse with an update. The nurse told us that Mom was doing well, and that she was being transferred to her ICU room. She said that we would be able to see her soon. She mentioned casually that Mom's ventilation tube had been removed.

This was a huge surprise, and not a pleasant one. We wondered if it was incorrect information, or if it was a medical mistake. "Are you sure?" Dad asked her. The nurse insisted. Yes, yes. "She has been extubated."

We immediately felt concerned about this. The surgeon had been very clear with Dad, mentioning several times: her ventilation tube will be in for at least one night, possibly two nights. Surgical teams are very cautious about extubation. Wisdom says you should never, ever remove a tube prematurely. Removing the tube causes the patient's throat to swell. Once you've taken it out and created that swelling, it's very painful to try to re-insert it.

Dad paged Mom's surgeon. We sat in the waiting room a while longer. We sighed theatrically a few more times.

While we were waiting for a call back from the surgeon, a nurse directed us to the room where Mom was recovering. Oh, my, it was good to see her. It was so good to see her! She could see us and speak to us. Her ventilation tube was gone. Her vital statistics were absolutely perfect. Blood pressure was spot-on.

After a 10-hour surgery in which she picked up the most awesomely Frankensteiny scar this side of Halloween, she had the clarity of mind to give the nurse Dad's cell phone number as soon as the tube was removed and she was able to speak. Wow. Good morning, Miss Lucid.

She was very weary, and she was in a lot of pain. But Dad got to give her some kisses, and we got to hold her hand and tell her how amazing she was.

Dr. Horton called us back shortly after we reunited with Mom. Dad explained that his concern about the ventilation tube was no longer an issue. Mom's initial recovery was all the reassurance Dad needed to support the decision to remove the tube. Dr. Horton explained that in 95% of his patients, the ventilation tube stays in overnight. But Mom was different. She was beating the odds.

So — Mom's initial recovery has been better than that of 95% of her surgical counterparts.

Mom has always been one of the healthiest people I know. All that stuff that Dr. Oz wants us to do? Mom actually does it. Smoothies with fresh fruit, flax seeds on green salads, steamed veggies for dinner, gym appointments never broken.

I remember once she told me about one of her guilty food pleasures. She lowered her voice to a whisper before she told me, "Sometimes I sneak into the cupboard after lunch and steal an almond or two."

That's right, folks. Mom's favorite forbidden snack just happens to be loaded with heart-healthy Omega-3's.

The simple fact that Mom has already recovered this beautifully in the wake of an absolutely brutal surgery shows me a couple of things: (1) prayer works; and (2) clean living pays.

Mom is spending the night in ICU. We will be re-joining her at the hospital tomorrow. I'll post another update then. Thanks to everyone for your prayers, phone calls, and visits. We are feeling very blessed tonight.

Live from the waiting room!

Day zero of Mom's new spine.

Mom and Dad arrived around 5:30 a.m. Chuck Taylor was here to see Mom off into surgery, along with my brother Scott and his girlfriend Ana. Mom was prepped for surgery around 7:30 a.m. (she got a dose of what Dad calls "happy medicine"). At 7:45 she went into the OR, and the first incision was 8:25.

So, now it's four of us (Dad, Tim, me, Debbie), hanging out at the hospital for the long haul. I'm utterly thrilled that instead of the typical hospital waiting room with a blaring TV and frantic hospital staff, we have managed to ensconce ourselves in a quiet, semi-private waiting space, complete with wireless signal and super-comfy furniture. Wow! It's the nicest hospital waiting room I've ever come across. It's especially appreciated, since we're going to be spending lots of time here over the next couple of days.

We are all hunkering down with our laptops, working on projects, enjoying the calm day, appreciating the chance to be together.

We have been receiving updates on Mom's condition about once an hour. I'll keep you posted throughout the afternoon. Thanks to the host of you that are out there praying and fasting for Mom at this very moment.

For more updates on Mom's surgery throughout the afternoon, hit the "refresh" button on your browser. I'll try to update whenever we get news from the OR, maybe once an hour.

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10:40 am EST - Another update phone call from the OR. We are loving the helpful communication from the surgical team. Dr. Horton is moving into the fusion part of the surgery. He's moving from one tricky part of the surgery into another. The doctor has surgically separated several vertebrae which had compressed upon each other and grown together over the years. Now he is fusing Mom's vertebrae into one giant "super-vertebra" (that's my term, not the doctor's). More updates soon.

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12:15 pm EST - Mom is doing great. The surgery is going really well so far. We have many fans of Mom gathering here in the waiting space. The doctor is now beginning to put titanium screws into Mom's spine. We're thinking that Mom will be gaining a few pounds during the surgery because of all the metal being added to her back.

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Update from Dad - 1:30 pm EST - Just heard from Monique in the operating room (1:20 PM). Things are proceeding normally with Cheryl's surgery. They continue to work on the spinal fusion, which is going to include all the vertebrae from the sacrum to T5, which includes most of her spine. Progress involves drilling holes and inserting stainless steel screws and rods to support the bone graft. Thanks for your continued prayer. We should be somewhere near the halfway point. More later.

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Update from Dad - 2:40 pm EST - Just heard from the O.R. (2:35 PM). Cheryl's surgery is ahead of schedule. All the hardware bracing is complete and the vertebrae are in place. Dr. Horton is now harvesting bone from her pelvis to place in the inter-vertebral spaces. Once that is done, the surgery is complete. She will then be released to Intensive Care. We who are waiting will be transferring to the family ICU waiting area where we will meet Dr. Horton and hear his report. Everything looks very good at this point. More later.

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Update from Dad - 4:00 pm EST - The bone is in place between Cheryl's vertebrae. Now the difficult work of installing the two unifying stainless steel rods begins. They will bring together all the bracing hardware and finish the operation. They estimate another two hours or so. So, in the end, the surgery will take 11-12 hours, which is pretty close to the original estimates. It has been a long day, but things are still going well. I hope the next update will be the last one of the surgery proper. Thanks for praying.

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6:00 pm EST - The operation is complete! Mom is getting sewed back up right now. We'll get to meet with her doctor and see her briefly in about an hour. She'll spend the night in ICU.

I look forward to meeting the doctor that just helped give so much quality of life back to my Mom. It'd be cool to give him something more than a handshake. Like, say, a giant steak. Or a foot massage. He must be exhausted every time he completes one of these incredible surgeries.

- - - - - - - -

Update from Dad - 7:00 pm EST - Cheryl's surgery is at last over except for closing the wound and doing the necessary antiseptic preparations. I am waiting for a call from Dr. Horton, which will come as soon as he has finished these final steps. She will be taken to ICU next, where I will be able to see her briefly. Everything went well and now the long healing process begins. She won't wake up until tomorrow sometime. Please pray that post-op difficulties will be minimal and that her bone graft will be successful. About 12 percent of bone grafts don't work, and that really complicates things.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and your concern for her and us. Today has been long, but the steady succession of people who have been with us in the waiting room has made the time pass much faster. Thanks for all of you for sharing your time with us. Good night!

TRUST & PEACE

I've been thinking a lot about the word "trust". Surgery will require much trust on my part and I've pondered what that looks and feels like.

It has always seemed to be something that I actively do but of late I have come to look at it differently. In the past it seemed to be something I needed to drum up within me requiring energy. With the journey I'm on, I have come to see it as something I allow to surround and hold me -- as though I am wrapped in a soft welcoming comforter. The thing that it does require of me is belief in what I am putting my trust in. When I lay myself on the operating table -- my human trust will be in my surgeon but in truth it will be in the One who surrounds him and puts His hands upon Dr. Horton's hands. God ultimately is the one I trust.

Another visual picture that I'm enjoying will be all of you who have and are praying for me. The picture is of all of you with joined hands surrounding my surgery bed with your prayers guiding and supporting. Thank you for being in my picture.

How do I feel on the eve of what has been repeatedly termed "massive surgery". I feel like I am being carried. It is a surreal feeling. I thought about it and concluded that this is what "peace" feels like. I am not frightened or anxious. I have done my part humanly in making my decision to have this done. I have researched doctors, listened to the words of others who have been operated on by Dr. Horton, read books on Scoliosis and the options of treatment, consulted the National Scoliosis Foundation for recommendations. I have asked God to lead Doug and me in this decision and to make it obvious and simple. He has. I have no other options. We are very much at peace with the decision we have made and thus can comfortably submit to something so huge. We know the road ahead will be a long and bumpy one but looking back on our decision process is one way God will remind us that we have walked with Him in making the decision. We trust His taking care of us all along the road ahead. It is an added blessing to know you're on this road walking along side us.

PRAYERS

I thought I'd share some things that I know to pray for. Wanted share them with you all.

Prayer Requests for My Surgery

- That I won’t fall. My balance will be totally different.
- Peace through recovery.
- That God would show His power in Doug’s and my lives
- Strength & perseverance for Doug and Carissa as they care for me
- For my bones to REGROW rapidly and the fusion to be successful.
- Protection from infection
- Hospital staff to be alert and conscious of my needs
- For God to be with Carissa. This is a new role for her.
- For God to use this in my life and teach me things about Himself that I would not learn otherwise.
- That I would not be afraid of the pain & that it would be manageable.
- For good use of this down time & for my mind to be alert. (this may be totally off the chart but I'd like it!)
- Protection of my back bones during surgery. Some places that will be getting the screws are now very narrow. Pray my bones will hold screws in place.
- That we would be a “light” in the hospital and for an opportunity to perhaps minister to others who are going through what we are. The hospital ONLY does orthopedic and spine surgery.
- Patience for me. The recovery will be very slow – months. The progress will not always be noticeable. I will need to be a plodder.

COUNTDOWN

We're finally nearing the day of surgery. It seemed far out there when we made the decision but now it is at our doorstep --4 days off on Dec 18th. My days have been filled with many doctor appointments. Each one had the possibility of knocking the surgery date out. I am so thankful that each one was fine. The one lingering thing is the huge amount of colds and flu going around. I have asked the Lord many times to protect me from this.

Doug and I saw the surgeon on Monday. It was a wonderful appointment. He spelled out what he would do. His final words were-- the surgery will last anywhere from 7-12 hours and we won't stop until it is perfect. This terminology is different from most surgeons who say ... we will do the very best we can. We have heard from no less then 25 people what an incredible surgeon Dr. Horton is with outstanding results. Only 4 doctors in the US do the procedure he does it. People travel from all over to have him do their surgery. We will be traveling 8 miles! Yes -- 8 miles. God is good.

How are we feeling? We are doing well. We are trusting God to take both of us through the unknown with His peace and His strength. Yes it is massive but we cannot change that. Doug and I have often said that the patient has it easier then the family & loved ones. There is a lot of truth in this.

What will I be doing after surgery? Getting my strength back and learning how to move in a new way. I know much of my time will be to walk and walk and walk. At first I will walk around the house only. Walking is the best promoter of bone growth. At first it will take all the energy I have. The nerves and muscles in my back will be cut so the only things I have to use are my my arms and legs. The polymyalgia rhumatica I contracted in February is still lingering -- leaving my arms and legs aching and stiff. This will be a challenge since I will need them. I am asking God for grace upon grace to carry me through and to surprise me with His care through my recovery. Please join me. Other concerns that I know of are infection and necessary bone growth. My spine will have a bone stimulating material put between each vertebrae from T5 to the sacrum as well as one long rod with screws thru my vertebra into this rod. The rod is to stabilize my spine while the spine fuses. This will eventually fuse into one bone. I will need to relearn how to move since I cannot twist or bend my back. It can be done and I will learn.

This is about all I know for now. Carissa and Doug will update the blog often so check in there. Please please leave posts as these will be your communication gifts to me.

Cheryl